You know I am not a hater, not ever been a total france hater, but recent events/ compared to past events have led me to have an outspoken opinion about their country, in general and also in more accurate terms. I will add emails and views from many different sources. I have traveled a bit and by and large it has been the overwhelming consensus from people in Europe and all over the world that the french are the most arrogant, rudest, cheapest assholes in the world, not to mention the arrogant, rudest, cheapest host countries to tourists, assholes in the world . I am sure there are many good people from this country/ mostly cuz they weren't obliterated in several past wars that we saved their country totally. When the french chose to veto our Country in the UN vote, I was thinking "what the fuck are you thinking about?" The UN resolution was very clear "abandon all arms of massive destruction........period. 12 years later with the same resolulations ignored by iraq..from iraq we (the UN) got fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Flipping off and scoffing at the mightiest Collection of powers in the world The United Nations was built/originated by the United States to consolidate countries of power to regulate power among these countries for the good of the WHOLE WORLD. Everything was written in black and white about what was expected from the UN and if not for all the arms the french has been selling the iraq and the germans and russians for that matter, that would have been a true resolution, too. Are these not all the major powers we have saved in the past wars? Do you see the french going out of their way to save other countries from demise, they don't even try to save their own country! The only war they have come close to winning was the french revolution! And that was by default. We helped rebuild germany after the war that we were forced in to to save Europe, We brought down the Berlin Wall. How many countries is russia now? The only land we have tried to keep for our own was the land we asked other countries we have saved for was just enough land to bury our our fallen soldiers who died defending their country. Bear in mind I was raised a liberal democrat whose family had two pictures in our living room, Martin Luther King and JFK. I have recently taken after 911 another stance.
The Associated Press
> Friday, August 5, 2005; 11:00 PM
> PARIS, France
> Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along
> with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could
> turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.
> Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned
> substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation
> after winning the 2005 Tour de France. The three substances found were
> toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French
> authorities for over 75 years. Armstrong's girlfriend and American
> rocker Sheryl Crowe is quoted as saying "we use them every day in
> America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."
> Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also
> found several other interesting items that they have never seen
> before, including a backbone and a testicle.
Gotta put this in ,too, God bless You Robin Williams
The Complete Military History of France
* Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years
of French history, France is conquered by of all things, the Italians.
* Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. Saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
* Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
* Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
* War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
* The Dutch War - Tied
* War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -
Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles
the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
* War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
* American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
* French Revolution - Won, primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French.
* The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
* The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France 's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
* World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States . Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only Sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
* World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
* War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
* Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
* War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should Not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us." - George Orwell
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
--- Jacques Chirac, President of France
In Frances case it does
France Increases State of Alert
President Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from "Run"to "Hide". There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory - effectively crippling the French military.
"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
---Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense
Going To War Without France Is Like... ...a Texas barbecue without a croissant...
...Marine Boot Camp without your Liza Minelli records...
...the ninth inning without your place-kicker...
...the Normandy invasion without Yves St. Laurent..
...firing up your computer without a virus...
...holding a bachelor party without the bride...
...crossing the Sahara without a fishing pole...
...wearing a Speedo without suspenders...
...drinking iced tea without e-coli...
...attending a movie without five screaming babies...
...World War II. 'nuff said.
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh, Doctor of Democracy
There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting
together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly
the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,
there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman
had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The
Frenchman was thinking 'The English fella must have kissed
Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia
Schiffer was thinking 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me
and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the
Englishman was thinking 'This is great. The next time the train goes
through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
better,on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
outside in Paris and drink little cup of coffee, but why this is more
stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I
--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin was applauded at the Security Council after he spoke out against U.S. war plans Friday. They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for terrorist attack,each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses around the house.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert is so angry at France for opposing White House policy on Iraq that he's proposed requiring orange warning labels on every bottle of imported French wine. Let's guess. The warning label will read, 'Just Two Glasses Could Make Dictators with Mustaches Appear Less Threatening Than They Really Are.'
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day. The description was 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
---Missouri Republican Rep. Roy Blunt
"The French will only agree to go to war in Iraq after we've proven we've found truffles there."
What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Mac's than the Nazis? An old saying Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French.
Q How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A Nobody knows. They've never tried.
Q Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
A Germans like to march in the shade.
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
Q What does the word "Maginot" mean in English?
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because
he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS
"Some members of Congress are so upset with this thing with France
that they want to impose trade sanctions against French products.
They want to ban French products like Evian. And you thought
Hollywood celebrities were
against the war before....!"
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get
Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the
Germans out of France!"
Q What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
the city in WWII?
A "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching
into Paris under a German flag."
Subject: I Wish I Had Written This Poem!
Eleven thousand soldiers
lay beneath the dirt and stone,
all buried on a distant land
so far away from home.
For just a strip of dismal beach
they paid a hero's price,
to save a foreign nation
They all made the sacrifice.
And now the shores of Normandy
Are lined with blocks of white:
Americans who didn't turn
from someone else's plight.
Eleven thousand reasons
for the French to take our side,
but in the moment of our need,
they chose to run and hide.
Chirac said every war means loss,
perhaps for France that's true,
for they've lost every battle
since the days of Waterloo.
Without a soldier worth a damn
to be found within the region,
the French became the only land
to need a Foreign Legion.
You French all say we're arrogant.
Well hell, we've earned the right--
We saved your sorry nation
when you lacked the guts to fight.
But now you've made a big mistake,
and one that you'll regret;
you took sides with our enemies,
and that we won't forget.
It wasn't just our citizens
you spit on when you turned,
but every one of yours
who fell the day the towers burned.
You spit upon our soldiers,
on our pilots and Marines,
and now you'll get a little sense
of just what payback means.
So keep your Paris fashions
and your wine and your champagne,
and find some other market
that will buy your airplanes.
And try to find somebody else
to wear your French cologne,
for you're about to find out
what it means to stand alone.
You see, you need us far more
than we ever needed you.
America has better friends
who know how to be true.
I'd rather stand with warriors
who have the will and might,
than hudd! le in the dark
with those whose only flag is white.
I'll take the Brits, the Aussies,
the Israelis and the rest,
for when it comes to valor
we have seen that they're the best.
We'll count on one another
as we face a moment dire,
while you sit on the sideline
with a sign, "friendship for hire."
We'll win this war without you
and we'll total up the cost,
and take it from your foreign aid,
and then you'll feel the loss.
And when your nation starts to fall,
well Frenchie, you can spare us,
just call the Germans for a hand,
they know the way to Paris.
Please forward to all Americans, so they! will not forget.
NEED A SEAT
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked its length, looking
for an empty seat. The only one unoccupied was adjacent to a
well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and
"You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see
Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but
another" trip down to the end of the train, found himself again
the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not
are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the
little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her
chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know,you
Americans do have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat
the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of
the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the