FUCK FRANCE

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You know I am not a hater, not ever been a total france hater, but recent events/ compared to past events have led me to have an outspoken opinion about their country, in general and also in more accurate terms. I will add emails and views from many different sources. I have traveled a bit and by and large it has been the overwhelming consensus from people in Europe and all over the world that the french are the most arrogant, rudest, cheapest assholes in the world, not to mention the arrogant, rudest, cheapest host countries to tourists, assholes in the world . I am sure there are many good people from this country/ mostly cuz they weren't obliterated in several past wars that we saved their country totally. When the french chose to veto our Country in the UN vote, I was thinking "what the fuck are you thinking about?" The UN resolution was very clear "abandon all arms of massive destruction........period. 12  years later with the same resolulations ignored by iraq..from iraq we (the UN) got fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Flipping off and scoffing at the mightiest Collection of powers in the world The United Nations was built/originated by the United States to consolidate countries of power to regulate power among these countries for the good of the WHOLE WORLD. Everything was written in black and white about what was expected from the UN and if not for all the arms the french has been selling the iraq and the germans and russians for that matter, that would have been a true resolution, too. Are these not all the major powers we have saved in the past wars? Do you see the french going out of their way to save other countries from demise, they don't even try to save their own country! The only war they have come close to winning was the french revolution! And that was by default. We helped rebuild germany after the war that we were forced in to to save Europe, We brought down the Berlin Wall. How many countries is russia now? The only land we have tried to keep for our own was the land we asked other countries we have saved for was just enough land to bury our our fallen soldiers who died defending their country. Bear in mind I was raised a liberal democrat whose family had two pictures in our living room, Martin Luther King and JFK. I have recently taken after 911 another stance.

 


The Associated Press
> Friday, August 5, 2005; 11:00 PM
> PARIS, France
>
> Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along
> with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could
> turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.
> Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned
> substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation
> after winning the 2005 Tour de France. The three substances found were
> toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French
> authorities for over 75 years. Armstrong's girlfriend and American
> rocker Sheryl Crowe is quoted as saying "we use them every day in
> America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."
> Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also
> found several other interesting items that they have never seen
> before, including a backbone and a testicle.
 

Gotta put this in ,too, God bless You Robin Williams

He would certainly get my vote for President.
 

You gotta love Robin Williams... Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan .. what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

 
Robin William's plan.(Hard to argue with this logic!)

 
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

 
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.

 
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

 
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll gi! ve them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

 
4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

 
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

 
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

 
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their! oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewh ere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

 
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere.." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

 
9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

 
10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.

 
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's ye! lling,
 
'You want a piece of me?'"

 
~~~If you agree with the above forward it to friend...

 
If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE

 

The Complete Military History of France

* Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years

of French history, France is conquered by of all things, the Italians.

* Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. Saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

* Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

* Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

* War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

* The Dutch War - Tied

* War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -

Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles

the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

* War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

* American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

* French Revolution - Won, primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French.

* The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

* The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France 's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

* World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States . Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only Sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

* World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

* War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

* Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

* War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should Not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us." - George Orwell


"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."

--Mark Twain


"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"

--- Jacques Chirac, President of France

In Frances case it does


France Increases State of Alert
President Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from "Run"to "Hide". There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory - effectively crippling the French military.
 
 

 

"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."

---Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense

Going To War Without France Is Like... ...a Texas barbecue without a croissant...

...Marine Boot Camp without your Liza Minelli records...

...the ninth inning without your place-kicker...

...the Normandy invasion without Yves St. Laurent..

...firing up your computer without a virus...

...holding a bachelor party without the bride...

...crossing the Sahara without a fishing pole...

...wearing a Speedo without suspenders...

...drinking iced tea without e-coli...

...attending a movie without five screaming babies...

...World War II. 'nuff said.

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"

---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."

---Rush Limbaugh, Doctor of Democracy

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting

together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly

the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,

there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the

Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman

had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The

Frenchman was thinking 'The English fella must have kissed

Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia

Schiffer was thinking 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me

and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the

Englishman was thinking 'This is great. The next time the train goes

through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French

bastard again.'

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any

better,on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit

outside in Paris and drink little cup of coffee, but why this is more

stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I

don't know."

--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin was applauded at the Security Council after he spoke out against U.S. war plans Friday. They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for terrorist attack,each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses around the house.

House Speaker Dennis Hastert is so angry at France for opposing White House policy on Iraq that he's proposed requiring orange warning labels on every bottle of imported French wine. Let's guess. The warning label will read, 'Just Two Glasses Could Make Dictators with Mustaches Appear Less Threatening Than They Really Are.'

---Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day. The description was 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"

---Missouri Republican Rep. Roy Blunt

"The French will only agree to go to war in Iraq after we've proven we've found truffles there."

---Dennis Miller

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Mac's than the Nazis? An old saying Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French.

Q How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

A Nobody knows. They've never tried.

Q Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?

A Germans like to march in the shade.

 

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

Q What does the word "Maginot" mean in English?

A "Welcome!"

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because

he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS

French, people."

--Conan O'Brien

"Some members of Congress are so upset with this thing with France

that they want to impose trade sanctions against French products.

They want to ban French products like Evian. And you thought

Hollywood celebrities were

against the war before....!"

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get

Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the

Germans out of France!"

---Jay Leno

Q What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered

the city in WWII?

A "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching

into Paris under a German flag."

--David Letterman


  Subject: I Wish I Had Written This Poem!

 

 

 

    Eleven thousand soldiers 

    lay beneath the dirt and stone, 

    all buried on a distant land 

    so far away from home. 

 

    For just a strip of dismal beach 

    they paid a hero's price, 

    to save a foreign nation 

    They all made the sacrifice.

 

    And now the shores of Normandy 

    Are lined with blocks of white: 

    Americans who didn't turn 

    from someone else's plight. 

 

    Eleven thousand reasons 

    for the French to take our side, 

    but in the moment of our need, 

    they chose to run and hide.

 

   Chirac said every war means loss, 

   perhaps for France that's true, 

   for they've lost every battle 

   since the days of Waterloo. 

 

    Without a soldier worth a damn 

   to be found within the region, 

   the French became the only land 

   to need a Foreign Legion. 

 

   You French all say we're arrogant. 

   Well hell, we've earned the right-- 

   We saved your sorry nation 

   when you lacked the guts to fight. 

 

   But now you've made a big mistake, 

   and one that you'll regret; 

   you took sides with our enemies, 

   and that we won't forget. 

 

 It wasn't just our citizens 

 you spit on when you turned, 

 but every one of yours 

 who fell the day the towers burned. 

 

You spit upon our soldiers, 

on our pilots and Marines, 

 and now you'll get a little sense 

 of just what payback means. 

 

 So keep your Paris fashions 

 and your wine and your champagne, 

 and find some other market 

 that will buy your airplanes. 

 

 And try to find somebody else 

 to wear your French cologne, 

 for you're about to find out 

 what it means to stand alone. 

 

 You see, you need us far more 

 than we ever needed you. 

 America has better friends 

 who know how to be true.

 

 I'd rather stand with warriors 

 who have the will and might, 

 than hudd! le in the dark 

 with those whose only flag is white. 

 

 I'll take the Brits, the Aussies, 

 the Israelis and the rest, 

 for when it comes to valor 

 we have seen that they're the best. 

 

We'll count on one another 

as we face a moment dire, 

 while you sit on the sideline 

 with a sign, "friendship for hire." 

 

 We'll win this war without you 

 and we'll total up the cost, 

 and take it from your foreign aid, 

 and then you'll feel the loss. 

 

 And when your nation starts to fall, 

 well Frenchie, you can spare us,

 just call the Germans for a hand, 

 they know the way to Paris. 

 

 

Please forward to all Americans, so they! will not  forget.

 

NEED A SEAT
  
 The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked its length, looking
 for an empty seat. The only one unoccupied was adjacent to a
 well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
  
 The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
  
 The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and
said,
 "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see
 Little Fifi is using that seat?"
  
 The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but
after
 another" trip down to the end of the train, found himself again
facing
 the woman with the dog.
  
 Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
  
 The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not
only
  
 are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
  
 The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the
 little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the
 empty seat.
  
 The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her
and
 chastise the soldier.
  
 An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know,you
 Americans do have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat
holding
 the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of
 the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the
window."
 


An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread,
butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to
him.
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only
eat
what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
transform
them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a
smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all
the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them
into
jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in
France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle
them,
melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."